Forever Lazy, Forever Mine

Those who know me, know that I am in love with infomercials. They present clever products that solve problems I didn’t even know I had! I am the proud owner of a Magic Bullet, a Slap Chop, Eggies, a Mr. T Flavour Wave Oven, two Snuggies, HD Vision Glasses, and BumpIts (among several others). Have any of these products revolutionized my life and changed the way that I cook, see or style? Nope. Could I live without them? Probably. Until recently, I met my infomercial match… The Forever Lazy.

I jokingly asked for one for Christmas… Little did I know that I would have to wait only until my birthday to open a package crammed with enough fleece to warm a small nation.

Immediately after opening what will be forever referred to as ‘The Best Gift Ever’, I carefully unwrapped it from it’s plastic roll and unfurled a cozy mass of black fleece and zippers. I couldn’t wait to try it on. So I didn’t.

As I stepped into it, I realized a couple of things.

  1. It was INCREDIBLY static-y.
  2. So snuggly!
  3. I may never take it off.
  4. It is incredibly unflattering. The arms and legs fit like normal and the middle bits are HUGE! If my body type were “Coconut with chopstick arms and legs”, it would fit perfectly.
  5. With the attached hood up, I looked like a fleecy ninja.
Fleece Ninja

I’m pretty excited about a couple of the features. It has built in pockets AND zipper pockets so that you can reach your real pockets underneath (if you’re wearing pants with pockets underneath… otherwise, they are just scratch holes). There is a zip up/down butt flap. Intended for the possibility of conveniently using the facilities I guess, however I have noticed that it is difficult to unzip in a hurry, so not incredibly practical. For the men who are brave enough to wear it, there is a front “up-zippper” for easier bathroom access.

My experience so far with the Forever Lazy has been quite positive. I can assure you that unlike the commercial suggests, I will not be wearing this loungewear item outside the home… unless I have the supreme desire to be laughed at on the street. It is definitely an “I’m at home and want to sloth about” type of outfit that delivers wholeheartedly on it’s promise of ultimate comfort. Two fleece covered thumbs up for sure.

I need to be careful however not to mix the Forever Lazy with one of my Snuggies. I fear that should I cross the streams, the world will be sucked into some kind of black hole of fleece from which we will never be able to return… and as much as I love fleece in a comfort context, the amount of static electricity alone would be enough to kill us all.

J.

2 thoughts on “Forever Lazy, Forever Mine

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s